Lent Day 6: Faithful through my Faithlessness

I feel like I've been repeating myself lately, in saying that God is too good. Too good for me at the very least. What he does, how he gives, I don't deserve that- any of it. His loves transcends and surpasses all I expect and can hope for. Basically he blows my mind and pursues my heart every single day.

Today I once again fell asleep reading my Bible- I need to get more sleep or something-(as I write this at 1:15 in the morning). So I sat up and finished up Romans- there is so much in there, so many truths. I know this is cliched, but Romans 13:8 is a verse I am draw to. "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law." That's it. That's all God ever wanted- for us to love Him- to love each other, those created in His image. Love was too big for us to comprehend so He had to break it down "don't do this and don't do that," but that's not really love, only as close as we can get sometimes.

I wish I could love more.
I need more of God to ever hope to do that.
A lack of intimacy with God is the source of every problem.
As we fall away from love we lose everything that is good and true.
When we near the living flame of love the bad is burnt away, leaving more room for love. I need more room for love. I guess that's why I'm doing this Lenten fast- I want to get rid of the things that take up space in my heart that I could give to God, to Love.

Realized something today... God knows my petty worries (the ones that seem so giant to me), and he provides. Inside I was dying to be with some of my guy friends, but I can't initiate anything: I feel so helpless sometimes. But God is never helpless, and He always helps me. Don't know why- I certainly don't deserve it- Love is so hard to wrap my mind around. God gives because He loves me so much, he is so attentive to my cries that he hears the longings I whisper in the dark of night. When I want to give up and fail He leads me instead to fall on my face before Him and watch as He provides.

I desire so deeply for everyone to know God like this- to see Him as truly living- ALIVE in their very lives.

An interesting verse to consider is Romans 14:23

Thank you SO much Jesus!